Mercury, Mercury, Mercury

Such a mischievous and bad man, he is one to be oh so careful with. He will play tricks and laugh to see you struggle to hear what crackling voice on the other end of the line has to say. Laugh young man, laugh it up. One day you will know and we may share a smile across the miles because you will have tasted what it is like to have the cosmos blowing through the fragile house of cards one builds to cal their own.

Oh how well you have scandalized my simple little house. Such a modest affair, one without grand illusions or even a fairy tale to make it all crumble in the end. Something built on a reality and dream in equal measure, whimsy with a solid foundation of truth and honesty. But, you sir, have managed to rock it ever so slightly and suddenly the door hangs a bit askew and the widows rattle in an unseen breeze that forever whispers a name and face I try to forget with every waking moment. Though the memories are held encased forever and the lines of my perception altered inconsolably, I feel safe in trying once more to play along the edge of this and that.

When, though, will it be safe enough to feel on my bare skin a wind that blows toward my destiny? For now I feel I can safely romp along the path without fear of anything real intruding on my dreams and silly girl fantasies, but soon enough I will want more. There might be a few more adventures if I choose to lift the veil and invite the world in to have a look, I might actually live a bit instead of this "let's pretend" sort of game. But, won't it hurt?

So, Mercury, you've made me quite gun shy and a little more reluctant to share such a tender heart with those that could hurt me the most. You have cast a fog over and over, making it all so much more difficult to see and navigate toward an end that should be happiness. The narrow streets in the ancient city weren't made to be easily traversed by those not quite familiar though, so I was lost before even beginning. I guess it's okay to not know where exactly this all leads, it's okay to just meander along and experience whatever new happens to come along.

Just promise me that this all leads somewhere, that even with the tricks there is a point to all of this. So, enjoy your little game and I'll follow along.

Communication has had a few problems in the last few months, hopefully things will be a bit more clear and I'll be able to get a few things done without the ambivalence of others clouding my judgement.

Today I was missing someone, the idea of someone. I shouldn't waste my energy and let things slip away just because one person has made a mess inside my head, causing me to second-guess everything and doubt what will come next. A serious shadow lurking still, even with so much time and effort spent to clear away whatever could possibly still remain. I was missing this person, even though I know I am not missed by them.