Midnight

It is the new year. Time for change and a new way to look at the future.

This past year was a lot of scars, there were some accidents and tumbles that left a mark. They all tell a story and meander along, running into each other. The biggest one is still quite new, hidden mostly and not easily forgotten. Though it comes at the perfect time for me. Letting it go to be free of the emotions holding me back. The scars and the hurt will pass if I let it, holding on will only make it worse. I'll choose to be happy and bring out the joy within to hea the pain felt now.

No scars this year.

The last night of 2008 was spent running around the city, building an outfit and successorizing. There were early drinks and a small dinner with family. Then the real drinking began and then the dancing and laughing. All in hopes of erasing the past mis-steps and regrets of the past year. Perhaps the evening would lead to more mistakes to try to forget. The music of the evening lead to a choreographed dance of events and happenings to mark a new beginning of the new year. The countdown to midnight was just a moment, almost insignificant in that still so much was to come.

More successories.

The early hours of 2009 found me stumbling homeward with a new companion on my arm, hoping to find a taxi to take us up the hill. The evening had turned chilly and there was a slight Seattle mist dusting my face. My friend asked if a taxi was necessary, my warm home was quite near so it really wasn't. I had already fell in love with getting a ride back toward my bed though and made no movement in an act of non-committal. We journeyed on to my house to spend the remainder of the evening, though it seemed the majority of excitement for the night had been spent already. Such a build-up will lead to these things.

Elaborate and exciting happenings in the new year.

The thing that I have been made aware of lately as the year has been winding down is to be open to the possibilities and opportunities. Letting it all happen. Sometimes it works out fantastically, so wonderfully I can't believe my luck. Events that lead me to fall in love with my life and everything yet to come. Then there's the possibles that lead to a broken heart and despair so deep the surface seems too far above my head to even make an effort. Those are the days I question the plan and wonder what exactly is in store along this path that seems so bright at times, yet quite gloomy at others. However, to shut those opportunities out simply because there's the slight chance of a scar too deep to heal seems too extreme to be all that responsible.

Go along for the ride.

My hope is for health and happiness, finding my way through an adventure and coming out at the end with stories laughter. My only regrets being not living enough.